So Blessed

I usually don't get all gushy on public forums, but I have to say something this time. Nothing drastic has happened in my life recently to make me feel one way or the other, but I feel so extremely blessed to be able to live the life that I live. I have an amazing husband who loves and adores me every day even if I'm grumpy and snappy. He would do anything for me if I ask or don't ask. On top of loving me he is the most amazing father to our 2 little rugrats. Those boys light up when they see him everyday. Grant is so busy with school and work that a lot of guys would put his family to the side to take care of work and school. Not him. He waits until all of us are in bed before he starts his homework. He spends as much time with his family as possible. Sometimes it is frustrating because I want him to work on studying for a final or something, but I am so grateful for him. I could not have asked for a better man in mine and my childrens lives.
I have such amazing sweet boys. Hudson adores his little brother and plays with him all the time. I think he'll be happy when James can finally walk and run so they can really play. Hudson is so tender hearted and sweet it just melts my heart when I see the tenderness and concern he has for others if someone is sick or injured. I love that kid.
James is the happiest baby I've ever seen. He gets mad when he's hungry and that's about it. He's so anxious to be able to run around with Hudson, it will be good when he can. He gives me kisses and hugs all day and snuggles up to me when I put him to bed at night. James laughs all day long, and it makes everyones mood brighter. A babies laugh is the best sound someone could hear I think. It is so innocent and sweet.

I feel that if I didn't say anything it would almost be like I'm taking it for granted. I love my family so much, sometimes I don't feel I deserve it. I'm being the best Mom possible for my boys and the best wife I can be, so I guess that's good enough. They still love me for my imperfections which is more than I could ask for. I can't imagine my life with out my family. As hard as life is, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

 I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas this holiday season and remembers the good in your life. Life is so crazy and stressful at times that I think we forget what life is about. During the holiday season it is hard to feel the spirit when you're so busy running from store to store trying to find that perfect gift. I hope we can all take a minute or two to remember Him. I can't thank Him enough for what he has given me in my life.

James 3-4 months

I took the boys to get their picture taken last month and these two boys are just adorable. Hudson is becoming quite photogenic and James lights up when you can get him to smile. I love these two boys so much I can't even explain it. Hudson still loves his little brother and James can't get enough of looking at his older brother and trying to keep up with the movements. James is 3 months old here, and is now 4 months old.
James is rolling over now (has been for a few weeks), and is eating oatmeal in the mornings. He's been on soy formula because the milk based formula wasn't sitting to well with his little tummy. The Dr. gave us the go ahead at his 4 month checkup to start on foods. Veggies and Fruits so we'll see how that goes this week. I'm sure he'll love it since he's always watching us eat dinner and following our food from plate to mouth. It's pretty funny. He envies us I think. James is starting to sit up a little bit here and there so I'm sure it won't be too much longer. He's growing up so fast. I  kind of feel like I got gyped out of a baby. Starting at 9.6 lbs and already 16 pounds. He's in the 90% for height, weight and head circumfrence. He's a BIG boy! He's so adorable. I just love it. He's got the roundest face I've ever seen.

It's a BOY!

James Edward Bay was born April 3, 2012 at 6:28pm. It was a long 10 hour labor but we both made it through happy and healthy.

James weighed in at 9 lbs 7 oz. and 20" inches long.

It is amazing the feeling that you can have on a little tiny human being the second you lay eyes on them. The second I was able to hold him, there was this love that engulfed my entire body. I knew right there and than that I would do anything that I could to protect this little being who spent the last 10 months inside of me. I guess I knew before that moment that I would protect him, but it came with such power that day.

I have 2 perfect boys and Hudson is so excited he is here. Happy that his Mom can sit on the floor and play again, but happy that he can finally see him, hold him and kiss him.

When Hudson held James for the first time, he put his right hand on James' belly, patted it and said, "It's ok baby, I take care of you!" It was the sweetest thing. For those of you who know how attached Hudson is to his blanket, and the fact that he never shares it with anyone, he layed it on James the other night so he wouldn't be cold. I can only hope and pray that Hudson will continue to be this sweet to his little brother. I pray that they will grow up and be as close as possible. I know they will have their fights, what siblings don't, but he is so sweet with him right now.

Our First Family Photo

The Wait is ON

One week until this baby is out of me. Am I excited? Of course. Am I dreading delivery? Of course. Recovery? Of course. But once all that is over, I can work on getting our lives back to the new normal. The thought of having another baby is crazy. Changing diapers again, carrying around a carseat and diaper bag loaded with all sorts of stuff. But I'm excited.
Today was my last day of work for a while. I was trying to go all the way, but I just couldn't do it. Enough was enough. My body was in pain sitting in my desk and I was so exhausted when I got home I couldn't do anything. I think I'm starting a "nesting" period I realized this weekend. I have finally had a second to breath and was able to think of all the things I want to get done. The last trimester has been easier than the first two. Not that it has been easy, but easier.
Hudson has been absolutely AMAZING through this pregnancy. He is one sensitive little boy. He gets so concerned about me if I am in pain. He tries to help me up from the couch, he'll help me walk if I'm struggling. He asks every day how I feel and gives me a hug and kiss if I don't feel good. When I'm crying for whatever reason, he gives me a big hug, wipes my tears from my face and tells me "It's ok Mom. Be happy ok?" I swear he isn't three when stuff like this happens. I hope he stays so sweet.
I can hardly imagine loving another child as much as I love Hudson. Grant and I were talking about it the other day, and we are just hoping that everyone is right that your love just grows.
So the wait begins. I no longer have work to keep my mind occupied throughout the day. I'll hopefully continue to have the energy to go do stuff with Hudson and hopefully running around with Hudson will put me into labor so I don't have to be induced.

Happy Holidays

It's been a long time since I've posted anything. So what's new...

1) I'm pregnant with baby #2. 5 months along and due April 6, 2012. We're excited and not finding out the sex, which makes it more exciting. This pregnancy has been a lot harder than Hudsons, but I think we'll survive. Just keep thinking happy thoughts, and counting down the days.

2) Grant is in school and working his butt off. He just finished a 15 credit semester. He's anxious to finish and doesn't want to take any time off. I'm limiting this next semester to 1 class. I'm a demanding pregnant woman and want him around when the baby is born. Can you blame me?

3) We found out Hudson is allergic to dairy. The bigger/older he is getting the better he does with dairy. We've been giving him cheese now and cooking with regular milk, and he does good with it. Still no ice cream or cows milk.

4) Hudson turned 3 in November. It is so crazy he is 3, and going to be going into primary in January. We're excited for him to grow and learn, but I just can't imagine him sitting still in primary. It should be interesting. I love this kids energy. He is so happy and energetic all day long.

5) We have 2 buddies living in our basement which keep us in tune with the single life. It is so weird how life changes with marriage and kids.

6) Life is great. Busy busy with work, school, Hudson, and pregnancy.

Here are some pictures from our latest photo shoot. I figured it was time for a family photo.

Hudson Update and Other News

Well it looks like Hudson has a dairy allergy. We went with out dairy for about 3 weeks and everything was great until he had ice cream last Friday. Now he has an ear infection. It effected him that night poor kid. He slept horrible that night than woke up with a fever and crusties in his ear. At least it drained because normally it doesn't even do that. As hard as it is to figure out what to cook for dinner now, I'm so thankful that it is not a life threatening allergy. Some people throat closes up on them when they eat certain foods. He gets stuffed up and an ear infection. I think when he gets older it will work itself out, but until than...No dairy for the little man. He loves rice milk so at least he can have that.

As for other news, when Hudson had a bad reaction to his anti-biotics a few weeks ago he developed some spots on his legs. We watched them for a couple weeks but they didn't seem to go away. We finally took him into the pediatrician but he had no idea what they were. He drew blood and did some tests but they came back normal. So we were sent to the dermatologist, but he also had no idea what they were. So he cut one of the bumps off and sent in for a biopsy. The results were pretty good. The bumps are none cancerous, thank goodness. He has a "skin disorder" called, Granuloma Annulare. It is not dangerous and no one knows why or how it is caused. The bumps do not hurt or irritate Hudson so that is a good thing. They should go away in time, but I think they'll flare back up again one day. We're giving him a steroid cream for a couple weeks to try and help them go away. We just started it yesterday so we'll see what happens.

This kid has been rung through the ringer it feels like to me. Some days I just feel so helpless. I know these aren't serious conditions, but I just feel so bad for him. Through all of these doctors visits and medications he has been such a good sport. He is such a happy and playful kid. He's always laughing, teasing someone, or jumping around. He is so fun to be around. I think getting the bump cut off kind of traumatized him because he is so nervous around people now. It is sad that others can't see is personality. He does start warming up after a while, but it is taking little while.

As for Grant and myself, the stress of Hudson has been hitting me hard so I decided to put school on hold until Hudson is better. He is a higher priority than school. My stress level was way to much for all of us to deal with I think. Grant is still in school and doing great. He handles stress so much better than I do. That's just one of the many reasons that I love him.

Grant and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary last week. It is weird that it has been 4 years already, but at the same time it feels like we've been married forever. I love Grant so much and he is such a great Dad. It is so fun to watch Hudson light up when Daddy gets home and how they run around the house tackling each other. I wonder however if they tackle each other too much because Hudson is starting to think he can tackle anyone. Kids imparticular. Sorry to all the kids out there. Hudson really isn't a bully, he just likes to rough house. But all in all, I wouldn't take the last 4 years back for anything. I love Grant so much. I don't know what or where I'd be with out him.

I don't really have anything exciting to write about. I guess this is for journal purposes. All that has been going on lately is school, work, and dealing with a sick child. Hudson has still been struggling with ear infections since his first surgery in December. He actually had 1 tube fall out in January so he underwent surgery again in February to replace the tube in his left ear. Shortly after surgery we were back in the doctors office for more ear infections. Last Saturday he woke up with a small fever (100.3), but we couldn't get rid of it. It remained there all day Saturday and he was getting pretty lathargic. He normally doesn't get like this at all. Since it was minor and Saturday we decided to just wait it out. Sunday rolls around and it's the same only when he wakes up from his nap with a 104.3 fever. We took him to the instacare to find he has 2 ear infections, 2 eye infections, and a red throat. He wasn't even finished with his existing antibiotic for the last ear infection. (On a side note, I took him to his doc. that Thursday to check his ear and they were crystal clear. The doctor said we could take him off his anti-biotic because they were so clear. We didn't however.) Two days later, he's sick. Ridiculous. So we started this last week with rotating work schedules so someone could be home with Hudson so he didn't have to go to daycare. Each day he has gotten worse. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were alright. No more fever. Thursday he started throwing up along with diarrhea. The diarrhea has continued until today (Sunday). Friday he went through 11-12 diapers (I lost count). Saturday he went through about 10. Last night I went to the pharmace to get advice, they said to call the doctor. No doctor available so I talked to a nurse who said...She's pretty sure that this is a reaction to the anti-biotics that he is on(that's what the pharmacist said also), and to take him off of it(already did Friday night). Watch him for a few days and see if it gets worse (I didn't want to take him in at 9:00pm at night). Nurse said he's been on a very strong anti-biotic (Augmentin) and with having been on other previously it's just tearing up his stomach. He's hardly been eating, but he's been in pretty good spirits considering it all. He's been drinking a ton this entire time so that's good cuz he isn't dehydrated at all. He really has been a good sport. So today, Sunday. It's 12:19pm and he's had 1 poopy diaper, and is eating more than he has in the last 3 days combined. Thank you Heavenly Father. Grant and I were wondering how we were going to go to church and teach our classes today if our kid can't go more than an hour without having to be changed. Hudson had a blessing on Thursday, and so did Mom. We are at a loss of what to do. We're taking him to another E.N.T. for another opinion to see if there is anything that can be done. 2 surgergies and still ear infections. I know kids get sick. I understand that. But I don't want to keep my child on anti-biotics for the next 3 year until he grows out of it. It's already messing his stomach up. Hudson has struggled with ear infections since before 6 months old. Everyone told me I needed to push for tubes in his ears, because it cures all. So I did. Well, it doesn't. What we've done so far...

• anti-biotics


• tubes


• adnoids removed


• taking him out of daycare to try and keep him away from kids so he can try and get healthy and stay healthy


• observe


• blessings

Is it allergies? Maybe. I think that is the next step to this chapter. Maybe we haven't done a lot. It seems like a lot to me. I'm at my whits end. I'm so stressed I think I'm giving myself ulcers because of it. I just want my son to be healthy. I want him to be well enough so I don't feel guilty for taking him around other kids. I guess we'll see what the 2nd ENT doc says tomorrow, if anything else. I know ear infections are just a minor illness in the grand scheme of things, but it is still a challenge. If anyone has had one they know they can be hard. Hudson has them constantly. 3 days after the anti-biotic is done, he gets another one. There are so many worse things in this world that we could be struggling with. That Hudson could be struggling with and I am so grateful that it is just ear infections. But with that being said, it is still very hard for me to watch. I love him so much, and I only want him to grow strong and be healthy.